Dating...

We talked about this in one of the "Pressing to New Levels" lessons some time ago. We had spirited back-and-forth, almost a teen "call-and-response" as they each had very strong opinions about the subject.

Even though the lesson was a blessing, and there are differing views even among the ministers as to whether teens should or should not date. I'll relate a story I just gathered from an employee (I'm getting used to saying that) that I have in New York:

He's from India, meaning he's likely Hindu, so the following is not about his religion, but how he went about choosing a wife.

He apparently made a decision one day, and informed his parents.

They went into action making the announcement in his village. By the time he flew from America to visit him, they had 18 potential mates lined up for him to meet.

For three weeks, he did. He did not kiss them or anything else: virginity is a premium in their culture, ideal if both are before marriage.

He ended up marrying the 19th girl his parents' had him meet (the first eighteen he just didn't vibe with). They've been married happily for two years now.

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When I'd minister to oURLife Austin, I knew -- especially from our lesson I mentioned -- the teens were interested in dating and the opposite sex. What I observed was (at least in Austin), they weren't interested in dating each other.

Psalms 133:1 NKJV - A Song of Ascents. Of David. Behold, how good and how pleasant [it is] For brethren to dwell together in unity!
Psalms 133:2 NKJV - [It is] like the precious oil upon the head, Running down on the beard, The beard of Aaron, Running down on the edge of his garments.
Psa 133:3 NKJV - [It is] like the dew of Hermon, Descending upon the mountains of Zion; For there the LORD commanded the blessing--Life forevermore.

2 Corinthians 6:14 NKJV - Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:15 NKJV - And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

I'm not advocating arranged marriages. Interestingly, that was the custom when Joseph married Mary and formed a family for Jesus to be reared in.

My employee points out several things: 1) though I'll never share his faith, he's pretty strong in it, 2) his parents chose his potential wives from the opinions of his community. He described it as being a part of a larger, extended family, the nucleus being from the same temple and having grown up together. His potential wives were not strangers at all: he just didn't find anything enough in common to commit to a long-term relationship.

I think it's just easier to go out with someone that hopefully shares your views about the Bible, Salvation and living a life pleasing unto God.

But teens, being private, would rather put their business "on blast" on Facebook than let anyone at church check out their "significant other." If teens hear opinions to the contrary of their "stargaze"; their perfect view of your boyfriend/girlfriend, it's not because we're being mean or over-critical. It's probably because we've "been there, done that": got the T-shirt! We're your community, and we care about you.

Nothing's changed except the clothes, music, technology and the hairstyles (and some of those came back). Yeah, we're older than you, but "there's nothing new under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

The adults and ministers in your lives have got battle scars for a reason! Maybe we could save you some headaches, unplanned pregnancies, delayed education, keyed cars; unnecessary drama.

Sadly, almost 50% of US marriages end in divorce, and India enjoys a divorce rate of 1.1%. We can do better. It starts with you.

I personally would like to see more Godly dating among our teens: so that you can be a light to others and your lives and futures will be blessed representing God in the earth.


Link: What are the Biblical guidlines for dating relationships?